So about that thing with Spitzer….

For those of you who are interested in the perspective of a high-end escort, there’s a pretty interesting Q&A in the NYTimes with one of the Freakonomics guys and a woman named “Allie.” I also recommend the links and perspective given on the Sex Workers’ blog “Bound Not Gagged.” There’s also a fairly comprehensive and well-reasoned overview of the affair by Elizabeth Pisani at the Guardian.

As a sex worker myself (it’s never sounded odd for me to say that until recently), I’ve got a lot of thoughts about these events. I don’t follow biz/political figures all that much … at best, I’ll go, “Gosh, he looks familiar” as I did the other night when seated in a restaurant near a current? former? AOL? Time Warner? honcho (see what I mean?). I’ve always maintained that it wasn’t my business who my clients are outside of my studio, and I think Googling people is rude anyway … so it’s entirely possible that the King of Prussia comes to see me every week for CBT and bondage and I have no idea.

That Q&A with Allie, linked above, confirmed my theory that a good part of the reason why clients use premium priced escort services is to ensure a level of privacy protection they don’t think they’d get at the lower ends of the scale. (A woman/business making a luxury living has less incentive to sell out for short term money, I guess.) I’m pretty sure that “Kristen” knew “Client #9’s” real identity — Spitzer doesn’t seem like the type who could keep that secret. Even so, it really sucks that HIS stupidity and carelessness has made fresh hell of her world. The tabloids might crow about how she’s raking in the dough but Spitzer’s the one with real ‘fuck you’ money, Kristen’s just making hay while the sun shines. Forgive me some presumptions but I suspect a young woman in Kristen’s situation — HS dropout living the high life (in many ways, apparently) as an escort was probably expecting that, should her music career not take off, the pretty woman could translate her rating into actual diamonds on her finger when she was ready to settle down and still continue in the lifestyle to which she’d become accustomed.

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Around the time that I became an independent Domme, I remember there was a big story about a dominatrix in Ohio whose client had embezzled money from the nonprofit organization that employed him. He’s a thief, she’s a service provider. Who ends up on the cover of the NYPost? She does. Whose picture did every print/online media outlet run with the story? Hers. He pleaded guilty to stealing $237,000, of which about $11,000 was given to the dominatrix and the rest went to his personal use. If you type the client’s name and occupation into Google Images, it’s the Domme’s picture that comes up.

There are many prospective clients who get all sensitive about revealing personal information to me, implying that they have more to lose than I. Even more galling is when those same folks ask me why I don’t show my face — and they’re calling me from a blocked number.

Here’s the thing. This is my life. It’s what I do. I have invested in my studio with the goal that I will be doing this for a while. I do all I reasonably can to ensure that: from limiting the number of clients I have to setting and keeping certain boundaries of discretion. But what the Spitzer situation, as well as the incident with the Ohio Domme proves, if my client is breaking a law, it doesn’t matter how discreet *I* am, how much I’m minding my own business, it’s MY partially-concealed face that’s gonna be all over the cover of the goddam tabloids.

From my perspective, my clients and I have a vested interest in maintaining each other’s privacy. Heretofore, my eye has been largely towards creating a space where my client could feel safe and trust me. These events, however, have made me realize that I should be equally concerned with my own safety, that my clients aren’t putting ME at risk with their conduct outside of my studio. I need to take more responsibility about knowing who I’m playing with so that I can make informed choices about playing with high profile clients who have more power than celebrity.

I’ll sign a confidentiality agreement to protect his privacy …. but will he sign an agreement not to do anything stupid that’s gonna cost me my business?