Why Haven’t You Gone to a ProDomme? Why You Should.

Unspeakable Axe, a very classy fellow, wrote a provocative blog recently about why he doesn’t session with professional dominatrices (yet). While some of his points (no intercourse! it’s a budget killer!) are reasonable, I found some of it inconsistent with my experiences and perspective.

So consider this my response rap: Why You Should See A (This) Prodomme.

Because you’ll be wanted.
With few exceptions, I don’t accept a session with a client I’m not attracted to in some way, be it because he’s super smart, super hot, super experienced, super witty, super intriguing, or just has a really big, juicy, gorgeous vocabulary. If you’ve got any of that going on AND you like to get tied up, tethered down, wrapped around, or used as target practice, I want you. If you can make me laugh for real over a plate of sheep’s milk ricotta gnudi and a badass Amarone, then I want you even more.

I don’t want you cause you’re paying me. Your money doesn’t make you desirable. Your desire for what I have to offer you makes you desirable. I want you because you went through the process of finding me, learning all you could about me, and concluding that I was the only one you wanted to have this experience with for reasons you know specifically (and you share them truthfully with me).

Granted, there’s no sex on the menu but I have been known to give generous hugs to my clients, to hold them in my arms, to share emotional, personal stories. It’s not a sexual intimacy, but it’s quite profound, unique, and special nonetheless. Because of my play style, it’s probably more than fair to say that my clients don’t really feel like clients but more like men in a play-driven relationship with a dominant woman. Which is also what I want from them.

You would please me by playing with me
I love to play and I feed even more on your desire to play with me. It nourishes me. It inspires me. It makes me even hungrier. I can never get enough of the play I love to do, especially with the people who make this so much fun for me. It is really rare that I’m not in the mood to play with a client. (Ironically, I can be less motivated to play in my personal relationships. Pro-play focuses me, whereas at home I’m prone to distraction and laziness.)

What few clients seem to understand is that the scene starts for me when you tell me you’d like to see me and then make your appointment. I start thinking about playing with you, what I’m going to do to you, what I want to create for you. And all in the context of, driven by what I’m craving or needing or feeling at that moment. Call me a service Top, if you must (be reductive and label-y) but a great deal of my pleasure is in thinking about you specifically and what’s going to blow you away.

It irritates me when clients say, “whatever pleases you, Mistress” because that doesn’t give me anything to work with. There’s no friction there. Tell me what YOU WANT, what pleases YOU because from there I can decide whether to grant or to deny. To give abundantly or stintingly. To deliver with conditions or generosity.

Or to just twist it all around every possible way so that you are once again reminded to be careful what you ask for.

THAT. That is how you please me.

Because you understand the price of quality
If you’ve shopped the bargains and found the craftsmanship lacking. If you have a clear idea in your mind of what you want to experience — and what you don’t want. If you’ve done your research and believe I’m the one who might be able to give you what you seek. Just do it. You do it for other material luxuries that give you pleasure: the leather interior, the welcome cocktail, the double stitched cuffs, the touchable gadget, the decades of barrel aging, the titanium frame.

Or maybe you’ve never been able to afford to indulge yourself. Maybe you just have a hard time wrapping your head around paying that kind of money for an experience that you probably can’t show off to your friends.

But the thing is: You will know. This is the experience you’ve craved and sought your whole life and you’re going to get a memory out of it that will last you just as long. And it will be yours. All yours. To be fondled in your dreams, relived over and over again. And it will be worth it. I promise you.