(I meant to continue yesterday’s post with some thoughts about my clients and heavy play but I couldn’t quite seem to make the transitions work. Still can’t. So. Uh. Zoom Zoom.)
Sometimes I get prospective clients who contact me fretting that, based on my MF Reviews or scene descriptions they’ve read on my blog, that I might play too heavy for them or might not enjoy playing with them because they can’t take pain or marks or something.
Part of me, the less generous part, thinks this is just penis talk. “Ohh, you’re so fierce, Mistress! I don’t know if I can handle it! Wh-wh-what are you going to DO to me?!” Because, really, my Reviews rarely cover details and I would think any reasonable person would realize that the scenes I write about here are chosen for their intensity, creativity, and newsworthiness.
The other part of me gets it. No matter how experienced you are (and in some cases the more experienced you are the harder it is cause, well, you know what’s out there), contacting a Mistress for the first time is scary. It’s such a vulnerable introduction. And while I’ve never really been on the client end of the business, there’ve been a couple of occasions when I’ve had to make a blind introduction to a Mistress I admire and … whew. Intimidating! There’s this fear that you’re not going to be good enough, or bothersome, or whatever. And I know I don’t make it easy for you guys either cause I write all the time about how the bar’s set pretty high as far as my expectations of the clients I choose to play with.
What’s really interesting to me, though, are the guys who want to see me because they think I’m such a heavy player and then they get in my studio and suddenly it all seems too easy. I hope some of this is just a matter of intention: I think there are things that I do that, by another Domme would be far beyond what you could handle but because I try to create such an atmosphere of surrender what you thought was impossible is not only possible but in fact happening and it’s pretty great.
Truth is, I’m kind of a softie. Forcing just isn’t my style. I can take a beatdown, and I’m pretty strong, too, but I’m not going to physically overpower most men without their consent. And when it comes to corporal, the brutal sadism thing doesn’t really work for me either. I can satisfy a masochist, for sure, but like, one guy said of me in a MF Review:
While I’ve been whipped harder (I’m sure she could do hard as well), but the mental state she got me into while whipping my ass and back was as close to a state of transcendental meditation as I had ever experienced. It’s one of the few times I know I was deep into sub space.
Some of my clients will tell me, “Oh, I wish I could take more for you, be marked, so that you wouldn’t have to hold back.” Thing is, I like holding back. I love the self-restraint, the self-discipline. I especially love being able to get you to that place you wanna go and not leaving a mark on ya. Gawd, that’s just so hot to me. It takes such skill to do that. Brutality? Feh. I’m a ballerina.
Hmmm how do I put this.
While one woman could hit me on the head with a 2×4 and I might not even blink, another could probably look at me and knock me on my ass.
You’re probably in the latter category.
You know, you left plenty of marks on me during our hour of corporal. And I don’t think it was *entirely* because I mark easily. I do believe — objectively — that I took quite a lot from you that day. Looking around your studio afterwards, it seemed like your wardrobe had exploded. (Though I wished I hadn’t gotten to the point where I shied away from the rubber tubing or the singletail.)
But in all, I thought you were baby bear’s porridge, my dear. I wasn’t expecting how tired my body would be after all that adrenaline, but it also felt refreshing without being too debilitating.
And you know, as for the mental state, it wasn’t sexual, per se, because we’re friends, first of all, and because I know you’re primary attraction isn’t to women.
(But mostly because we’re friends.)
It was more like we were ice skating partners, or trapeze partners — it was like a meditative art between two people who do something atypical and a little bit death defying in a life-affirming way.
Do you see what you do as, for lack of a better phrase, surgery with your hands?
@bad man
Welcome to my blog!
“Surgery with my hands” … maybe. Hands seem too blunt, too physical. Too literal. It’s a mental thing more than anything.
When I play, I ofter visualize a silver thread extending from my forehead to his body: a line of communication. Like the pensieve in “Harry Potter.” Once I’m in, throw in a few of those sentinels from “The Matrix” to probe and, perhaps, excavate…
@anon
“something atypical and a little bit death defying in a life-affirming way”
That’s really nice. I like that. Not as much as I like you, though.
And, actually, it IS just that you mark easily.