Ask MTO: Lust, Fear, and Other Surprises

Got a burning question? Something BDSM-related that you’ve always wondered about or perhaps something you’ve wanted to ask me but wasn’t quite sure how? Now’s your chance. You can email me directly (AskMTO at TroyOrleans dotcom) or, if you prefer, ask me anonymously over on Formspring. I’ll pick the ones that most interest me and answer them here.

Since you brought the subject up (Or the times I’ve felt scared of or intimidated by or lustful about a play partner.) That sounds like an interesting subject to start off with .Have you had one or 2 Lustful Sessions as far as the moment or what scared you about a play partner in session ?

One or two? More like dozens! Lustful sessions happen a lot for me. But my lust isn’t the “hubba hubba” kind. While really good looking people are always just delightful to look at, what really turns me on is more of a mental or energetic connection along with really good play. As an example of that energetic connection, I’ve noticed that lustful feeling happens often with men who play in their personal lives with an intimate partner. I think it’s because BDSM isn’t compartmentalized for them…and I feel that and respond to it.  More generally,  I just feel my play partner’s  joy and passion for what we’re doing and it just kinda transmogrifies into something erotic and maybe even a little primal.

Fortunately, my practice is centered only on the kinds of play that I personally enjoy, so every scene has the potential to get me excited. There is something about sensory deprivation and/or intense immobilization plus a hard, jutting cock that … whew. Is it hot in here?

A few months ago, a play partner came to visit and in short order, I had him in a punishing, all rope tie on the floor. Watching him writhe and try and try and try to escape turned me on so much that at some point I leaned in close to his ear just so I could confess to him how much I wanted to drag him by his chest harness, untie his hands and feet and lock him down spread-eagled to the four posts of my suspension frame. Then I’d hood and gag him so he can’t see or smell or scream. And I’d put some kind of sheath on his cock (like this?) maybe lubed with desensitizing cream so he really couldn’t feel anything. And then I’d straddle his body and use it until I was done.

Needless to say, he loved the idea. I did, too. And the next time he visited, I invited a friend to join us and to do all those things with him. Minus the desensitizing sheath.

It was a fun night.

As for fear, there’ve been a few times when I’ve been scared during a scene. Only once can I recall feeling threatened by my play partner (this was back at Luxuria. He was drunk/high and was threatening and belligerent when he was told to leave). Every other time, I was scaring myself. There’ve been a handful of occasions when I’ve found myself on the edge of reckless play. One or two times it was negative energy: I was playing from a place of anger and retribution. The other times it was just getting so carried away, so inspired in the scene that I gleefully wanted to fly over the edge and take him with me.

***********

Have you ever been in a scene with someone you’ve really enjoyed playing with for a while, and they’ve surprised you with a new talent or twist? Do tell! (This is actually a question from Mistress Alex’s post on Max Fisch.)

I was telling this story the other day about one of my very first sessions. I was in New Orleans, sessioning in a local dungeon. My client that day wasn’t very specific about what he wanted, other than that he wanted to be dominated. So I was just running through the basics: pinch the nipples, spank the bottom, stretch the balls, finger the butt hole, flog the back. He took everything, but I could tell I wasn’t really connecting with anything. And then I told him to kiss my feet.

Holy cow.

His reaction to that was like all the lights coming back on after a power outage. Such ardor! Enthusiasm! One would think “foot worship” would be an activity someone would readily admit interest in but he’d not said a peep. So, yeah. That was so surprising. And it was infectious. It was great ending the scene on such a high note.

As for long-term clients surprising me with a talent … nothing comes immediately to mind. Sometimes I suppose I’ve underestimated how much a play partner can take and am pleasantly surprised when he asks me for more. Because my practice is so focused on bondage and corporal (as opposed to, say, humiliation or sissy training) I don’t do a lot of, I’ll call it “stunt play” where the guy has to DO things, whether it’s dance around or suck dildos or put his foot behind his head. (Well, that last one … maybe.)

More often than not, I’m the active one and he’s the vessel so, if anything, it’s more about our play evolving. Perhaps when he started with me, he was indifferent to electrical play but now loves it. Or a hard limit was erased. Or, maybe, I’ve surprised him.