Clients are an interesting bunch. For every man who tells me that he wishes he could take more pain or marks or just fantasizes about giving me the pleasure of not holding back, there’s another who worries that I won’t have fun playing with him because I’m such a “heavy player” and his pain tolerance isn’t that great. Every once in a while I have a client who tells me I didn’t push him hard enough, that I under-served him … though that’s probably for another post.
Both reactions are kinda presumptive, if you ask me. Who are you to say I don’t get maximum pleasure from self-restraint? From moderation? One of my most favorite corporal scenes ever was with a friend at Paddles one night, just me, him, and my singletail. I whipped him for at least an hour straight. Hard lashes, light kisses, cracking strokes and pops. There was plenty of pain, but at the end of it, there was barely a mark on him. That was such a demonstration of skill, in my opinion. I was so proud.
My challenge is in getting you where you need to go, as exhilaratingly as possible. Every experience with a client is another step in my journey. Whether you’re a novice or a leather assed veteran, my primary need is that you surrender yourself to me. I’ll take you to some exciting places, mostly at your speed limit. No brakes required.
I wanted to write about playing with novices for my blog because I worry a little that the scenes and other things I write about here are intimidating to a lot of players. In some ways I’m really spoiled. Most of my clients are quite experienced (or maybe just incredibly tolerant) so I’ve grown accustomed to playing at a pretty high level. I tend to write about those scenes the most here because they lend themselves to good narrative.
But I also play with a few players who are just starting their journey. Beginners are interesting to me. In some ways, they’re more challenging than the seasoned vets because I’ve got to figure out what they like/need/want when often they’re not quite sure about any of that. Then I need to sort out how to deliver it in a way they can handle.
Sidetrack:
I would be really curious to have some sort of brain scan going on with me during a scene, from negotiation to play to aftercare … just where are those synapses firing? And I wonder if they’d be sparking the same areas as, say, when I’m cooking? I was talking to someone the other day about “Concertina” by Susan Winemaker, explaining how the author was a chef who became a dominatrix. My friend and I are both cooks and we agreed that setting a scene feels very similar to the cooking process.